Dealing with Men’s Issues
So what makes men’s issues special?
Nothing… except that we are NOT women. We are men. Our issues are ours.
We don’t want to talk about them. We don’t want to get all emotional and feely about stuff, either. Few guys like being vulnerable.
We’re guys. We don’t want to talk to women about our stuff… or our wives, partners, girlfriends, significant others… yada, yada, yada.
I totally get it. I’m a guy, too.
Unfortunately, not talking about things is hurting us and even killing some of us guys.
Could you be your own obstacle?
The Sh*t between Our Ears
I don’t care how macho you are or aren’t.
You are missing out on life if you don’t deal with the sh*t between your ears!
We struggle being successful because we lack to tools to break through obstacles. As much as want to be super human, we are not Chuck Norris, Bruce Willis, Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves or_______(fill in the super hero name of your choice).
Are you willing to (continue to) miss out on life and happiness?
Surviving Toxic Relationships
Guys, we live in the real world and we will at times have real world problems.
I firmly believe that all of us will at some point have a “bat-sh*t crazy” (BSC) relationship that messes us up.
It’s a rite of passage: Surviving “Crazy (insert name here).”
I’ve got my story; I’d like to hear yours.
Father and Mother Wounds
I have only met a few men who we were not affected by their fathers. Some horribly.
Some just have distant, unsatisfying relationships with their father. That’s me, but I learned to fix my “father wounds.” Ask me.
News flash: Fathers are supposed to raise us up to be good men. Sometimes they fail.
Sucks but sometimes it’s up to us to forgive them and accept them as flawed men… and accept ourselves as flawed in some cases.
Second news flash: Some of us even have “mother wounds.” Throw Mama from the Train was a favorite movie of mine in my 20’s.
Flawed… or Just a “Work in Progress”?
Flawed? Me? F**k that!
Hang in there, buddy. Flawed does not mean failure. So, don’t jump to conclusions… especially about yourself. Our work together is to find those areas where you want help.
You aren’t weak. You just need strength training in certain areas. I bet you know some places for improvement already. So, let’s get started on some upper body work… and some frontal lobe conditioning.
So you aren’t flawed! You are a work in progress! We all are! Life is too short to think we are done growing.
I’ve got your back on where you want to grow, change, or improve.
Am I going to have to be emotional?
Funny… it’s totally on you.
You can have all the feelings you want and be emotional at the same time. I even provide tissues if you need to cry a little.
I am most interested in your connecting to your thinking and behavior—especially to the thinking and behavior that is sabotaging you.
I already know what my issue is; I just don’t know how to fix it.
Perfect, we will start with that. My sessions always begin with a check in what’s happening.
We don’t have to go digging in the past if I can teach you some coping skills to be successful today.
But, sometimes, the past helps explain the present.
When One Issue Affects Another
Don’t be surprised if your problems at work also show up in your relationships.
Why? Because as men, our feelings of success at work (or lack thereof) are reflected in our relationships with others. If one sucks, the other might suck, too.
No worries. You will survive. You will find solutions for both.
I listen. I question. I may even challenge you some.
Enough psycho-babble.
You share what’s important to you.
You do the work and we’ll set the goals. I’ll guide you and help you realize your goals.
If you end up a new man—powerful, invigorated, and hungry for life… well, congrats. Our work is done.
Hopefully, you will check in occasionally and let me know what’s up with the new you.
P.S. Still looking for a list?
Here are some of the things that might be preventing you from being the man you desire to be:
- Anxiety: fear of success, fear of failure, social phobias
- Depression: sadness, malaise, lack of sleep or too much sleep
- Sex issues: erectile dysfunction (ED), sexual orientation, infidelity, satisfaction, porn
- Life adjustments: separation, divorce, blended family, pending marriage
- Job/career: frustration, lack of accomplishment, career change
- Family/marriage: relationship issues, family issues, mother/father wounds, aging parents
- Health/aging: recent health issues, chronic health issues
- Anger: self-directed, outbursts, assaults
- Legal: criminal entanglement, divorce, civil suits, probation
- Alcohol/substance use: using to excess, using alone, using inappropriately, binges/blackouts
Counseling Provides a Safe Place
Whatever your issue is, bring it to counseling.
If you don’t know what your issue is, we’ll figure it out. Every issue has a solution.
You will be safe.
But here’s the disclaimer: While there may be happiness and joy in the process, there may be some angst and vulnerability, too.
Lean into it and trust the process!
Redeem your lottery ticket to a new life… a better life.
I’m ready to start down the road with you. Solutions are waiting for us.
If you are stuck and unhappy with your life, give me a call.
If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, give me a call.
Call for a free 15-minute consultation: (214) 218-3767