So what makes Men’s Mental Health issues special? Nothing really except one BIG thing…..Men do not like to talk about their issues at all !!! I totally get it. I’m a guy, too. Unfortunately, it is all too common for men (us) to miss out on life and happiness because we are not willing to be vulnerable for a few minutes. But those few minutes can be transformational.
Emotions & Feelings vs Thinking & Behaviors
Emotions and feeling are separate things but for our purposes, I don’t care if you know the difference. Feelings just exist and emotions are how we act. For example, Mad* is a feeling and Anger is our emotional response.
It’s cliché to say men are not in touch with their feelings but it’s not true. Men are thinking people not feeling people. When it comes to feelings I prefer to 5 types:
I find most men can identify these pretty easily. If you are a guy that needs more, I have a list of I can give you with about 200. I’m not kidding.
When I work with men I am focused on your thinking and the behaviors that result. Let’s talk about our thinking. Thinking follows behavior. What you do or don’t do is preceded by what your thinking is.
- Are you not successful at work? What are you doing and why. What are you not doing and why. When you are working on A and not B…what are you thinking? What is your thinking when prioritizing your work. Are you doing the right thing at the right time. Are you doing the right thing for you. Is it your passion. Are you fearful. What pisses you off about your work. What are you thinking about when you drive into work, drive home from work. What are you thinking about when you wake up in the middle of the night.
We may think our work is who we are but work is just a metaphor for a man’s life. We are so much more than our work. So that’s where counseling for men’s issues begins.
* also equates to stressed, frustration, etc.
What issues cover men’s mental health?
The easiest answer is anything that is preventing a man from being the man he wants to be is going to affect mental functioning and behaviors. But since everybody likes a list, here it is:
- Anxiety: fear of success, fear of failure, social phobias
- Depression: sadness, malaise, lack of sleep/too much sleep
- Sex Issues: ED, sexual orientation, infidelity, satisfaction
- Life adjustments: separation, divorce, blended family, pending marriage
- Job/Career: Frustration, lack of accomplishment, career change
- Family/Marriage: Relationship issues, family, issues, mother/father wounds, aging parents
- Health & Aging: Health issues, chronic health issues
- Anger: Self-directed, outbursts, assaults
- Legal: Criminal entanglement, divorce, civil suits, probation
- Alcohol/Substance use: Using to excess, using alone, using inappropriately, binges/blackouts
Whatever your issue is bring it to counseling. If you don’t know what your issue is, we’ll figure it out. Most importantly, every issue has a solution. But here’s the disclaimer: while there may be happiness and joy in the process, there may be some angst and vulnerability, too. If you are tired of being stuck with what you have in life….then give us a call. Happiness is found in the journey.
If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, give us a chance. If it doesn’t work out for you, we can refund your misery.